In January I learned I was a finalist in Write Bloody’s Jack McCarthy book prize. I was ecstatic and overwhelmed and so very excited. And maybe a little nervous because Write Bloody has been my dream publisher for oh, about a decade.

After learning I was a finalist I had to submit a packet of 20 poems and create a video — Write Bloody believes in readings and touring and so they want to see that you can perform your poems. So I set about gathering my poems and I recorded this video.

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And then I waited and tried not to think about it too much. On Monday, 14 February, Write Bloody posted on Instagram they would be announcing the winners the next day at 12noon PT/3pm ET. When I saw this post my heart simultaneously jumped up into my throat and dropped into my stomach. In less than 24 hours I would know if I made the cut and would become a Write Bloody poet.

I didn’t sleep well that night, my brain constantly circling between I’ve totally got this! to Oh hell no, it won’t be me! I woke exhausted and a bundle of nerves. I went to the pool and spent an hour burning off nervous energy. I returned home and tried to focus on work. Work was, thankfully, insanely busy, so it kept from hitting refresh too much… Several friends texted to ask how I was doing and I responded, “Well I didn’t sleep well last night, I spent an hour in the pool this morning, and my left eye won’t stop twitching so you know, about as expected.”

At 2:30pm I checked my email and saw a new one from Write Bloody. It contained the magic word: CONGRATULATIONS!

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I won’t try to play it cool and tell you I was happy but not surprised. Nope, I full-on screamed with unexpected joy! All day I had been prepping myself to cry and feel disappointed but instead tears of joy leaked out my eyes as I danced around the room and my dogs jumped around me in excitement. (They are sweet but simple dogs so if I’m excited, they’re excited without understanding why. Just one reason I love them so much!) I then called my husband at the office (I still work from home most of the time) and screamed in his ear. Then I called my sister and screamed in her ear. Basically, there was a lot of screaming and dancing in my house that afternoon. Shortly thereafter, Write Bloody announced it online:

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My next full length collection of poetry will be published by Write Bloody in spring 2023. I’m so excited to join WB and cannot wait to bring this book into the world!